This Is Where We Start
by DoctorCharlie
Summary: Karma's feelings for Amy. Where she started. And where she is now.
1. Chapter 1

**\- A Very Short History of Karmy… -**

 _I felt a spark of desire, and now the flames are going higher. I really want this to work. I'm so tired of being burned. I've got a secret inside. It gets so easy being someone else. When I'm with you, I don't have to hide. When I'm with you, I can be myself. Something changed the moment we kissed. I never knew It'd feel like this. If it's not to much, could you have a crush on me? That you were never a secret to me._

 **Karma's POV**

Amy has always been my best friend. That is a fact. Ever since Kindergarten. Even my mother knows that it's Amy I'm talking to every morning while we get ready for school. Although most of the time, we are together. More times than not, actually. And if we aren't together, we are constantly keeping in touch. I mean come on, she's the only person I feel completely comfortable enough to actually play her some of my songs. Even the ones I'm still not proud about, to this day. But still, she's my number one - and most likely only - fan. And when we aren't talking, it's like God himself decided to punish me. Or any other God for that matter. And if we are fighting, we both may be a little stubborn, but when it comes down to it, we can't stand the thought of not talking because it just doesn't seem right. We're soulmates.

And I know absolutely everything there is to be known about Amy. When Amy was younger, she was scared - or anxious - of the dark, so we spent all night putting glow in the dark stars on her ceiling. She has a peanut allergy. She hates it when people overuse employees. She hates girls who wear cowboy hats. People who think mayo is better than ketchup. She hates people who pay for jeans with holes in them. Judy Dench. She hates people who think "conversate" is a word. She hates rodent animals, reggae music, and people who wear sunglasses inside. Not to mention people who like nuts in their brownies. And she has a very proud understanding of my fear with heights. But hey, we're best friends.

We both share an unbreakable bond with Netflix. Amy is the only person I can watch Dance Moms Marathons with, on the count of her being able to not talk until the commercials. And we get each other on another level, ya know. Like whenever I get too nervous around guys sometimes, Amy is always right behind me, holding my hair back from the vomit I am most likely passing. See? Best friends. But I have her back too. I went right along, cheering her on while she auditioned on America's Got Talent with her Yo-Yo routine, making a complete fool of herself. But I was right there as soon as she stepped of the stage.

We also tell each other everything. Like for instance, I know that Amy started getting pubes in second grade. Normal friends don't just tell each other that kind of stuff. But we are very far from normal. Amy does these, extravagant scavenger hunts every year for my birthday. She really puts quite a lot of effort into it. But that only goes to show what a truly amazing friend she is. And one year, when my Gam-Gam died, Amy was the only person who could make me laugh. If I know anything, I know If I truly need her, she would be right by my side in a heartbeat. And I for her. And although we get along great - 99.9% of the time- we still have our differences. I, for one, crave attention. I'm not afraid to admit that. Amy, on the other hand, could do without it. Yet, she is right by side. I am good at small talk, and Amy could, once again, do without. Amy is strong. She doesn't care what people think. I, on the other hand, care too much about what people think. I would go out of my way to get someone to look at me, and Amy could care less. I can usually be calm and collected. Amy has a bit of a temper. Most of the time, I can get her to calm down, although sometimes it is best just to stand back.

Amy has always been there, even when my back may be turned. When we get into fights, we fight to get each other back. She's the salt to my pepper, and I couldn't or wouldn't want to live without her. I never plan on leaving Amy's life, because I enjoy it there. If someone ever gave me the ultimatum of them or her, they wouldn't even get to finish the question. I could lay in her arms for hours. And you have to understand how incredibly rare it is to find someone you could be 100% comfortable with, leaving behind no secrets, and having no doubts. For me, I truly believe Amy was brought into my life for a reason. I honestly don't even want to imagine the thought of anything otherwise. And I would be lying if I said I wouldn't get jealous if she started to hang out with someone more than me, as corny as that is. I'm not trying to be selfish, it's just my nature. You fight for things that are yours, and Amy is mine. Best friend that is. She is my completely wonderful, absolutely beautiful best friend. And I think I am falling in love with her.


	2. Day One

**A/N: So, someone had mentioned that this is like, and inner monologue for Karma. I agree with that. This is what would be going through her head through the seasons. Something we never see. Something we can only assume. My theory is that Karma is the one 'faking it'. I think the name of the show really correlates with her, and that is something we may find out later in the show. Amy's 'faking it' story line kind of ended when she told Karma she loved her all along. So now there's only one other person who could possibly be faking it. Karma.**

 **Karma's POV**

So, it was decided. After talking to Amy for almost an hour, it was decided. Or, I decided and Amy agreed. Our plan to get popular was narrowed down to me, pretending to be blind. I know what your thinking. But going through life unnoticed was starting to get to me. Not to brag or anything, but I am pretty awesome. And if pretending to blind will finally get someone to look at me - and not in a bad way - for more than three seconds, then so be it. I'll admit, I'm getting pretty desperate. But, at least Amy will be right by my side. And not just because she's my best friend, but also because if I'm going to be blind, I need someone to help me walk. Being blind and all. But that's one of the many things I love about Amy. She's always willing to help me, no matter what.

Okay, so the blind plan didn't really work out too well. I had to catch that stupid fucking football. But, I do have good news. The one and only Liam Booker was actually talking to me! He was talking, and I was the one running to the nearest bathroom. But, it happened! We are actually invited to a party hosted by his friend Shane. Amy hates parties. Amy hates people in general, but of course she's willing to go because, well... me. Hopefully, I've already excreted all of my bodily fluids before I see Liam again. I mean, If I see Liam again… It's not like I like him or anything...

Alright, so this party was actually a bit of a disaster. I think. Liam thought I was a lesbian. He actually thought I was in a lesbian relationship with Amy! Amy! And before I could set him straight - or rather tell him I was - Amy pulled me away. I can see how he would think that, though. I mean, in all honesty, I've thought about it in the past. Not too in detail, but what it would be like, I guess. And on top of all of that, Shane had to declare his love for lesbians. In front of everyone. And by lesbians, I mean Amy and I. He actually got the entire party all riled up, suggesting everyone vote for us as Homecoming Queens. I could not believe he outed us in front of the majority of the school. Not like I'm gay or anything… But I'f I was, I would want to come out on my own time. Not at some high school party with 40 or so drunken teenagers. It's all still a little unbelievable. You should have seen the people cheering. They loved us. Of course, we have to tell the truth, although, I'm thinking we should just see how this plays out.

So we finally got to School, and EVERYONE is talking about us. Who would have thought? Lesbians?! I told Amy I think we should go along with it. She wasn't to thrilled, but I told her this could be the popularity nudge I've been waiting for! And it can't get weird, because I'm already so comfortable with Amy. So we may have to kiss a few times… I'm okay with that. A little peck here and there, nothing to worry about. Amy and I talked about it, and she's agreed to continue 'faking it' with me. We got asked to do a photo shoot for the school newspaper or something, and that's when it happened! Once I was finished with the fake eyelashes, I ran into Liam. Beautiful Liam. We were talking about his art piece, and before you know it, our lips we're crashed together! I'm thinking this popularity thing may be easier than I thought.

As I was talking to Amy about what the kiss was like, she suggested maybe we shouldn't do this anymore. In her words, she thinks I should "find a new girlfriend''. Of course, she has to know that there wouldn't be any other person I could actually do this with. Amy is my exception. But when Liam came up to me at lunch, I told him we broke up, because we are just too different people. But sitting there, I realized that I would rather be her unpopular, unnoticed best friend, rather than a popular lesbian. Because in the end, it always comes down to Amy.

I had to go find Amy. Nothing else really mattered at that point. Not even sitting, and potentially flirting, with Liam Booker. I finally found Amy, on the roof of the school. Of course, she would be there. I told her it wasn't worth it. I told her she was worth telling the truth for. I was ready to hold my white flag high. When Amy and I were talking, she said she would continue to be my fake lesbian girlfriend. I would be lying if i said I wasn't at least a little happy. She would bend over backwards to see that I am okay. To make me happy. And I would do the same for her in a heartbeat. That's why we go so good together. We need each other. We want each other to be right by our side, through sickness and in health. Not like we're married or anything. But we are soulmates.

At the Homecoming Rally, we we're actually cheered on while we were walking in. I have never felt anything like that before. Like everyone in that room wants to see _you._ It was amazing. And I wouldn't have anyone else by my side, hand in hand. All was going well, when Lauren had to decide to open her stupid mouth. She told everyone that we were faking it. Could you believe that?! All of this for nothing, or so I thought. Then it happened. Amy pulled me in close, and kissed me. She actually kissed me, like a significant other would. It kind of sent me into shock for a second, before I started to regain consciousness. If kissing Liam Booker was amazing, I can't even describe what kissing Amy was like. It was like finding the puzzle piece you had been missing for years, or finally opening your eyes after living your life with them closed. I felt something. Something I'm not sure I'm proud of. It's all still a little confusing, but I think I just had a realization. I think I liked it. I think I may be faking faking it.


	3. Homecoming Out

**A/N : If you haven't noticed already, I'm trying to do each episode as a chapter. Some might be shorter than others! Also, I'm trying to stick to the facts as much as possible, to make it as realistic as possible. I've watched the series multiple times, and I wrote down as many facts as I could! Hopefully I will do it justice!**

 **Karma's POV**

Within about 8 hours of the kiss - and quite a good one at that - I had already made Amy a very detailed guide to making this lesbian relationship work. I also told my parents about my new found love interest. They were literally more excited than I was! I definitely could have done without telling my parents, seeing as my plan didn't really involve them, but I thought what the heck. I can tell them anything anyways, right? They literally showered me with their love. They have never hugged me harder. It almost makes me regret telling them, knowing that with my luck, they will somehow come to learn the truth. They would be devastated. Maybe even more than I would be.

Now, my plan was to get popular. That was at the top of my priority list, obviously. But then, Liam Booker came into the picture. And my maybe potential feelings for Amy. It's all still confusing, so I've decided to focus on Liam. I don;t need to complicate something that should be so simple. I made the choice that he should be my light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, I can't just tell him that Amy and I aren't together, but I can surely do other things. Like maybe kiss some more. Who knows? And as far as I know, Amy is fine with our strictly platonic- not-really-a-couple friendship. I'm sure if she was feeling uncomfortable, she would tell me anyways. Right?

When it come to actually hooking up with someone, I would like to know that they are actually in love with me. I wouldn't have sex with someone just to do it. There has to be feelings, and passion… and love. Obviously, Liam Booker isn't in love with me, but that doesn't mean I can't have any fun. It's all in good fun… that's what I keep telling myself anyways. But another option that keeps finding it's way back into my head is simply to make him fall in love with me. Shouldn't be that hard, seeing as he already thinks I'm this sexy lesbian in an open relationship.

Although I did come close to 'doing it' in the art room, I knew when I walked in the door that I wouldn't go all the way. It's just something I kind of knew already. I knew Amy would probably support me with whatever decision I chose, so I was almost shocked to see her going against what I was doing. She says she's concerned that someone may find out, and the entire school will look to us as liars. Some part of me, way deep down, was actually thinking this may actually be jealousy. But that could have just been my own hopes working against me. I know Amy and I are just friends, but I have got to say, this is not how I expected my plan to go. It's actually the exact opposite. It should have been easy. Get popular, find a guy who actually likes me, fall in love, get married, move in next to Amy, grow old next to Amy… That was the plan. For as long as I can remember, this is the plan I decided I was going to live my life by. But then things changed, and the plan was compromised. People thought I was a lesbian. Thought we were lesbians. I was put into a place where I thought I was impossible to go. I started feeling things that weren't a part of the plan. The same plan that I've been memorizing since the third grade. Whenever you have your life set out, in detail, like I did, and then something causes you to rethink your whole plan (like I did), you are put in a very weird place. You have to make the decision: either ignore the problems, and work harder to achieve your goal, or screw the plan all together.

Of course, Amy and I would win Homecoming King and Queen. And of course, I would be the queen. There are these moments lately, where I honestly forget about the plan all together. I just forget about it, mainly when Amy and I are in our own little world. And that is most definitely not a bad thing. But then I'm brought back into reality, and I have this choice that still needs to be made. And I have made my choice, although I'm not too proud of it. When Liam told me he wanted to take me to his car, that kind of sealed the deal. I knew what I had to do. When I called Amy, she wasn't exactly thrilled. There I go again, thinking it may be jealousy. Of course, it isn't. We are just friends. Best friends. And she was probably just looking out for me, like best friends do. No underlying cause. So there was nothing stopping me from having sex with Liam Booker. Only to find out, that there was. Liam Booker himself. But that was my stupid self, thinking a guy actually liked me for me. And even if he did like me, It was only after the fact they knew we we're lesbians. Or, thought we we're lesbians. I still don't know. All I know is that I can't have sex with someone who doesn't completely love me. So I decided I'm going to make him fall in love with me. Me. Not lesbian me. Just me. Maybe one day, he could love me as much as Amy and I love each other. Or at least how much I love Amy.


End file.
